100 degrees centigrade. Boiling point. How do you get there from 99 degrees? Just a little more.
It takes only one degree from 99 degrees to reach the boiling point. At that point, everything sizzles.
What are the extra truths and extra efforts you need to increase friendship in marriage? (fun, enjoyment, companionship, etc)
Malcom Gladwell, in his book The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference, tells us ….. tipping point are “the levels at which the momentum for change becomes unstoppable.” Gladwell defines a tipping point as: “the moment of critical mass, the threshold, the boiling point.
Song 2:15 Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom.
Many times it is the little things that we do and we don’t do that makes the difference in our marriage. In business, we are expected to meet the expectations of our clients thus bringing customer satisfaction. But if we give or do things beyond the normal expectations, then this will bring customer WOW! Thus, resulting in customer loyalty.
How about in marriage? What are the little efforts that we can do to increase the heat (to 100 degrees maybe?):
Here’s a few examples:
1. Make time for emotional connection.
Your spouse is more important than your children (in the food chain).
Invest a little time each day just thinking about your spouse. Pour into your marriage the same as you pour into other areas of your life you are passionate about.
2. Hang out together.
Plan an outing that the two of you will enjoy as a couple. Plan a date and go some place fun. Stay up late and watch an old movie together. Go to a concert.
Run errands together on Saturdays, meet for a lunch date once in a while, even just take a walk around the block. What Shirley and I do (for the past 19 years) is to do grocery together. I get to choose my junk food.
This is key. Don’t take everything so seriously. The world would say being married with the same spouse for almost 20 years could be drab. But laughter can put spice and sparks in marriage.
Prov. 17:22 A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.
4. Show affection.
Hold hands, kiss passionately (not just smack), hug more than just before you walk out the door, snuggle on the couch. Studies show that men who kiss their wives everyday before going to work live five years longer than those who don’t. Go and add 5 years to your life.
5. Get Away From it All
Get out, put all your cares away for a few hours, and enjoy each other. Plan your dream vacation.
How about you? How can you add an extra degree to your marriage?
I took Shirley and the kids to a simple dinner celebration in Bellevue Alabang. We had a great family time together. Many times, it’s the simple celebration that brings those special bonding moments.
To my beautiful wife Shirley who celebrated her birthday today:
You are God’s greatest gift to me and our children. You continued to inspire and encourage me in our 19 years of marriage. We have been through a lot as a family. We had times of laughter and times of weeping; times of abundance and times of lack; times of sickness and times of health; times of blessings and times of testing; finding new friends and some even falling out; success or even failure. But whatever we have gone through in life, you stood here by my side. You help bring focus in my life, family and ministry.
Thank you for being a great wife, a loving mom, a loyal friend, a partner in ministry. I have truly received a beautiful favor from God through you.
Prov. 18:22 He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD.
A short acronym that describes her:
S- supportive, strength of character
H- opeful, happy
I- nner beauty
L- oyal and loving
Happy birthday! I love you so much! Looking forward to the many more years that we will spend together.
If you are the richest man in the world with a net worth of $50 billion, what would you consider as the best advice that you ever got?
Bill Gates created the Microsoft empire and has amassed a huge fortune since 90% of the world’s computers run on their operating system. (Unfortunately, I belong to the 10% who don’t use the Windows platform.) Last June 2009, he stepped down from the day to day operation of Microsoft to focus on philantrophy. He is now running the world’s largest charitable organization – the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation valued at $27.5 billion. He co-chairs with his dad, Bill Gates Sr.
When asked [by Fortune magazine, July 6, 2009] what was the best advice he ever got, his response was his dad encouraged him to do things that he wasn’t good at –in sports like soccer, swimming and football. (This is contrary to some leadership teachings that says you only focus on things that you are good at.) What it did to him was to be exposed to different leadership opportunities and it also showed him that he wasn’t good at a lot of other things. Talk about teaching humility the hard way.
Bill’s father, Bill Gates Sr. made sure that he would get along with and encourage the right things with his kids. Family traditions and values are observed. His dad and mom even took parent effectiveness training in their church.
We can see two things:
1. As a parent, don’t underestimate the impact of your influence over your child.
Prov. 22:6 Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.
2. As you are growing up, never cut your ties with your parents for advice. This is still seen now in their foundation since Bill’s dad co-chairs with him. Bill Sr. is still considered as the voice of wisdom for Bill.
Prov. 19:20 Listen to advice and accept instruction, and in the end you will be wise.
I remember asking my mom and dad for advice many years ago as I was making a decision whether to go to business or become a pastor. They said, “Never make decisions based on money.” I decided to be a pastor and never had any regrets. Thanks for your wisdom, Mom and Dad!
What about you, “What’s the best advise you ever got?”
A happy marriage can be elusive to some but a reality to others. I married Shirley in 1990 at the age of 22. And God gave us wonderful children after almost twenty years of marriage- Bea, Jerome (+), Ana and Andrea. I am so grateful to God for the wife that He’s given me. We realize that marriage is not just something that we coast along with. It takes a lot of hard work in order to build a strong marriage.
We are called to honor God in our marriages. We need to protect our marriage vows. After God, the most important human relationship we need to keep and prioritize is that of our spouse.
What you honor, you value. And what you value, you prioritize.
Eph. 5:22 ¶ Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.
Eph. 5:25 ¶ Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
Some of the ways that we can honor our spouse and help boost our marriages are:
• Everyday you need to listen to the most important voice in heaven. Likewise, we need to listen to the most important voice on earth – your spouse.
• Meet your spouse’s needs. Don’t just look at your needs.
• Have a regular date night. Many of the conflicts can be avoided when you have a consistent time together just to bond.
• Engage in meaningful conversation – one that has emotional connection. This requires talking and listening (on both sides).
• Respect your spouse’s opinion. You don’t monopolize all the world’s wisdom.
• Say “I love you” at least three times a day. No, its not a title to a movie but it’s one good habit that we need to have.
• Kiss passionately. Yup! You heard me right. It bonds you almost instantaneously. Medical science gives several benefits of kissing. It releases tension. It aids in weight loss. It slows the aging process. It increases fitness. It boosts self-esteem. And it prevents tooth decay (I think you have to do it with brushing.) Just to name a few.
• Have sex regularly. I’d rather not elaborate on this one.
A good, no, a great marriage not only honors God but is also the most precious gift that you can give your children.
As the whole world celebrated Father’s day yesterday, we the Marquez family did our share of celebrating. My sister Tin-Tin organized an impromptu dinner in Amarula (a new resto in Prez Ave. in BF) for the three Marquez dads – my dad, me and Bernard.
I want to thank God for my dad. People call him Tito Bert or “groovy” because he is. (I’m not sure if the young ones know the meaning of this word). His grandchildren (eight in all) love to play with him. Who would not want to play with a fun loving lolo?
He is one reliable and very resourceful. I realize that every time I need something — like having the car fixed or bringing my daughter to school when I’m not around, he would readily volunteer and meet the need.
He is not a rich business mogul but he has given us three siblings a good education and a good name. He would remind us as we were growing up to always protect the Marquez name. At 67, he still has an active lifestyle – bikes, plays golf, swims regularly, etc. He takes care of our mom especially after she underwent angioplasty. He is indeed the strength of our home. He is our model father.
Love you dad. Thanks for always being there for us!